Ginger Pop: Five Stores Where You Are Too Old to Shop

May 28, 2014 by akelly

I’m blogging from the Vegas strip this week. Poor me. As I’m not much of gambler, I’ve spent some serious time shopping because that’s what I am good at. Dresses for $5 each at H&M? Sold! Knee-high lattice work black suede boots on sale? Yes, please. Walking through the myriad of stores throughout Vegas, I have realized there are some stores that should check ID at the door because after a certain point, a woman needs to clear out. Not that I’m saying we all need to throw in the towel and pick up a Betty White style track suit. But there are just some places a woman needs to realize are really beneath her.

1. The Pink Section of Victoria’s Secret

I love some lingerie even if it’s only for yourself. But the inventory at Pink is too juvenile for any woman over 25. They have panites called Cheekies. Really? Act like a lady and purchase some black lace hipsters. You’ll like yourself much more.

2. Forever 21

It’s in the title. Yes, they have fun jewelry, but so do lots of places. Pick a discount store that won’t mistake you for the mom of the girl shopping next to you.

3. Any Place With Glitter As a Major Product Component

Glitter make up, glitter heels, glitter glued to shirts–oh no, no, no. Just no. Sparkle is fabulous, but glitter is a cheap, little girl version of sparkle. Plus, who wants to leave a trail of glitter like Disco Gretel trying to find her way home?

4. Hot Topic

This goes for guys too–you are too damn old for Hot Topic. Yes, they have video game and superhero t shirts. So do lots of places. You are not a 16 year old emo kid who needs a Jack Skellington messenger back to match her knee socks. Buy your fan shirts elsewhere.

5. Clare’s

There is nothing more preteen mall than a Clare’s. It’s like Robin Sparkles on pixie sticks. Buy your jewelry at a big girl store.

What other stores should have an age limit?