Ginger Pop: The Train Wreck Theory

I would probably be better at math and science if I didn’t dedicate so much of my brain power to coming up with theories. There is the Walking Music theory, the Mark Hamill Greatest Living Actor theory, and the Sex theory. My friends could probablytrainwreck2 add to the list–I adore a theory.

The Train Wreck Theory evolved in college when my buddy Katie and I were discussing how much she despised Faye Dunaway. I mean, like punch her in the face with her ring hand despised. In the normal world, when she didn’t like an actor, she just wouldn’t see their work. But for some reason, despite loathing Faye Dunaway, Katie sought out her movies. The reasoning was shady; initially I thought she was trying to find a redeeming quality to an actress who many consider one of the great living actresses. Chinatown? Bonnie and Clyde? Network? Good stuff, right?

fayeTurns out that wasn’t it–Katie didn’t care that other people liked Dunaway. More, the fascination was with reveling in how much she hated Faye Dunaway. It was as if she were focusing all her annoyance with the world into one actress. Hating Faye Dunaway was therapeutic. As much as Faye Dunaway disgusted her, like a train wreck, Katie could not look away.

Thus was born the Train Wreck Theory. The rules of the theory are simple:

1. The object of disdain must be a famous person, one generally believed to be talented. So Paulie Shore cannot be a Train Wreck Actor. My condolences to Paulie Shore.

2. Despite hating the person, you have to seek out their work, if only to relish your hatred. Chances are that you might actually have seen everything the performer has done. That is true Train Wreckage.

3. You are allowed one Pass Performance. For example, my mom’s Train Wreck Actor is John Travolta (whom she calls John Revolta). She thinks he is a talentless piece of crap, despite watching his movies. Her Pass Performance is Pulp Fiction, which she agrees is a fantastic, including his acting.

That’s it. Those are the rules of Train Wreck Theory. My Train Wreck Actress at the time the theory was developed was Jessica Lange. However, American Horror Story negated that status. (Yes, you can change your mind.) Thus Cameron Diaz has replaced Lange as my Train Wreck Actress. Because she really is terrible. We just get distracted by her shaking her ass.

Who is your Train Wreck?

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